Lupin: To Fear A Full Moon (or A Werewolf's Tale)
by Weasley-Gurl
Summary: Remus Lupin tells the story of his life.


Lupin: To Fear A Full Moon by ~:)~Weasley_Gurl~:)~  
  
"What was it like? As far as details go, probably couldn't recall enough to form even a ghost of what it really was," the man said, sounding far away,"I do remember the night, the moon. I had loved the forest by my house. If you didn't find me in my room, reading, you could be sure I was in the forest, looking for new places to go. I was young, and didn't worry much.  
"So that night, I snuck out. I was lucky that my parents didn't catch me. Or possibly unlucky, as it turns out. For, not halfway to the pond, I heard a stirring in the leaves, and a great beast jumped out. Next thing I knew, I was transforming every month into a monster. That was what started it all. I was still very young, when the letter came.   
"I remember that I didn't want to wake up, didn't want to return to the world that had treated me so foully. But I did, and I read the letter that lay on my dresser beside a small tawny owl. Now that I think about it, I can't even remember how I felt. You would imagine I was excited, and I might well have been. But then there was my mother to think about, and my father. And what would the other parents think about one of the most dangerous creatures in existence in the same room with their children? Studying with them, playing with them, eating dinnerwith them-  
"I remember the train ride; that was where I met James." He paused."And, I believe, Sirius. Yes, Sirius was there with him. There were few occasions when they were to be found away from each other. They- they came into my compartment. Called me loony when I asked why they carried around Muggle firecrackers; said I should know better than to question the most renown pranksters in England. The most renown pranksters in England. 'S what they said, and who was ever to not believe them? They were, indeed, incredibly good at pranks..."  
  
  
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"Hey, you!" the boy called. Remus Lupin, not quite eleven and not quite the right size for his age, turned and looked from his place at the window. There stood two boys, both with black hair and both much taller than he was.  
"Yes?" he said, quietly. He watched as they sat down across from him and emptied their pockets. Hundreds of frecrackers fell to the ground.  
"Anybody sitting here?" one of them said,"All the other compartments are taken and we need a place to take inventory."  
Remus looked questioningly at them. "Guess not," he said,"I don't really know anyone and-"  
"Oh," said the boy, who had a pair of thin, wire-rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose. "I'm James Potter. And this is Sirius." Remus smiled a bit. Mabye this wouldn't be so bad, after all.   
"If you don't mind my asking," he said,"Why are your pockets full of firecrackers?"  
"You're loony," said Sirius,"Just loony. Don't you realize that these Muggle firecrackers are much easier to sneak into the school than Fillibuster Fireworks? The teachers, 'cept mabye the the Muggle Studies one, they have no idea what they are. Brilliant, isn't it?"  
"I suppose so," Remus said, though he couldn't think of any reason why someone would want to sneak firecrackers of any kind into school in the first place.  
"You suppose so. You know, I think Sirius is right, you're nutty," said James,"You should know better than to question the most renown pranksters in all of England. You have much to learn, young one."  
  
  
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"And I did. The next few days were hard on me. I was bright, but not brilliant by any means and not too good at handling many things at once. Which was exactly how it was: classes here, parties there. No, now that I think about it, the parties didn't come until later. You know, in the first week, we discovered two secret passageways, broke ten rules, and got away with every bit of it. I still don't know how we did it.   
"But it was very stressful. They dragged me around everywhere, never paying mind to my complaints, my excuses. In a way, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I imagine that on the weekends alone, we learned more than in any of our classes.  
"Then we discovered the kitchens. That was one of the best parts. It was the night before my first transformation. We ate everything we could name, even making up some name and telling the elves to 'just make it sweet'. I think it must have been strange for the teachers, when we showed up the next morning, all with stomach aches. I will never eat that much again. And the pain wasn't the worst part..."  
  
  
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"Speaking of cheese," said Sirius,"Isn't tomorrow a full moon?" Remus choked on his chocolate pudding and marshmallaw covered cheesecake.  
"F-full moon?" he asked when he had managed to swalow the rest of it.  
"Yeah," said James,"Full moon. What? Have you never seen one or something?" Remus stayed quiet, not wanting to answer that particular question.  
"Anyway," said Sirius,"I was thinking, mabye we should try sneaking out to go see the giant squid. It'll be light enough to see by and it's just the right weather. I imagine it'll come up if one of us jumped in and pretended to be drowning."  
"Actually," said Remus,"Tomorrow won't work for me."  
"'Tomorrow won't work for you!'," said Sirius,"You know, Lupin, I think this sugar's going to your head. You aren't thinking straight." He popped another piece of candy into his mouth and sat back.  
"Mabye I'm not," said Remus,"ButI do know one thing: I can't go with you tomorrow."  
"Fine, have it your way," said Sirius.  
  
  
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"As it turned out, I was the only one of us to go out the next night. We were stuck in the infirmary, puking our guts out. When Sirius and James were both asleep, Madame Pompfrey led me out to the Whomping Willow. I climbed through the tunnel and found a safe place to curl up in the house.  
"I don't remember what my excuse was when I walked into the Hospital Wing the next morning. I remember Sirius and James were both still there, waiting for me to show up. But I kept my secret.  
"Then came the parties. The highlight of that year were the parties we held in Gryffindor Tower. Every special occasion, and sometimes just because we felt like it, we would get food from the kitchens and bring it up to the Common Room. We joked and ate with everyone that would fit in the room.   
"And that was where we met Lily. I don't think it was until the end of the year- yes, sometime near the end. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch House cup and, naturally, we were the ones to supply the meand for celebration. It was Sirius, I believe, who technically 'saw her first,', though James was the first to talk to her.  
"Somewhere along the course of that year, we had picked up Peter. Always following us around, pretending he was one of us. I'm not sure, he might have been. But it was Peter who taunted James until he walked up to her, saying a curt 'hello'.  
"I remember her reaction. She had jumped, as he had walked up from behind her, then acted strangely suspicious. Then Sirius had jumped in, saying something I can't remember..."  
  
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"Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you, Peter," Remus said,"There was no reason for you to bug James like that. Look at him." The girl jumped at the far end of the room, sending a piece of shortcake over her shoulder and into James's face. Remus cringed. Shouldn't have come from behind.  
James regained his composier, reaching over to grab a rag while making conversation. Remus never had learned the fine art of reading people's mouths, but the next words that she formed looked suspiciosly like "Go away."Sirius began making his way over to them, and Remus followed.   
Sirius's legs were much longer than Remus's and he could walk much faster, so Remus reached the group just as Sirius was finishing his story. "So James swooped down and scored a goal right before the other team's Seeker caught the Snitch. But it didn't matter, because James's score had put them ahead by 160 points! England won!" Everyone clapped and cheered, save Remus and Lily.  
Remus noticed Lily opening the door to the girls' dormitory, slamming it behind her.  
  
  
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"I felt sorry for the poor girl. But the party had started again and I, being only just eleven, went with my animal instinct: forget her and continue with the fun.  
"Of course, James had not been the youngest player ever to play for England. In fact, he never played professional Quidditch. He could well have, however, when he got older. He was good, a natural Chaser, and the heart of the Gryffindor team the next year.  
"The second year passed, as did the third, much like the first year. There was one minor exception, though. It was midway through November of our third year. James, Sirius, and I had all signed up for Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures, much to the dismay of Peter, who had chosen Muggle Studies and Divination.  
"We were in Arithmancy one day, when Madame Pompfrey knocked on the door and pulled me into the hall. It was nearly time for dinner, and I hadn't forgotten that night was to be a full moon. I had even come up with an excuse: My aunt was sick with tonsilitis. I'm sure it wasn't a very good or original excuse, but it would have proved good enough.  
"She told me to meet her in the infirmary after class. As I sat down in my chair again, James inquired as to what Madame Pompfrey had wanted. I had lied- what else could I have done?- and he had bought it.   
"Or so I thought..."  
  
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"So, Remus, where exactly does Aunt Betsy live?"  
"Bulgaria." Remus said the first thing that came to mind. "I imagine I'll be back by lunch tomorrow, though. Flying and all."  
"Oh," said James, who looked to Sirius and nodded. "And her tonsilitis... It's gotten worse, has it?"  
"Oh, yes," said Remus,"Much worse."  
"Uh, huh. Well, tell her we wish her well, and all those things you say to aunts with a mutant strain of tonsilitis." Sirius could hardly keep a straight face as he spoke, clenching and unclenching his fists under the table.It was so obvious when Remus lied. He and James had had an idea where Remus went every month for some time.  
"I will." Remus stood up as the bell rang. "Se you tomorrow." Or whenever, he thought,So long as they don't see me walking to the Whomping Willow with Madame Pompfrey.  
Remus walked down the hallways, shooting the occasional glance behind himself. He reached the infirmary door and knocked, three sharp taps, then leaned against the opposite wall. He never noticed the two boys trailing him. When the door opened and Madame Pompfrey came out, they jumped behind a suit of armor.   
"Are you ready?" Madame Pompfrey asked. Remus nodded and he and the nurse walked down the hallway and climbed down many sets of stairscases, until they reached the front door, two invisible boys close behind. They reached the Whomping Willow and Remus lay down on his stomach and prodded a knot at the base of the large tree with a stick.  
Underneath the cloak, James and Sirius nodded to each other.  
  
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"I hate to think what would have happened had that invisibility cloak not dropped when it did. I was just curling up on a rickety brass bed in one of the rooms, when I heard whispering. I jumped up and ran into the hallway, wishing that I had imagined the voices, but I hadn't.  
"When they saw me, James and Sirius jumped back, tripping over the stairs and falling on their backs. The invisibility cloak slipped off just as I began to feel the changes coming. I grabbed them and pushed them to the passage, hoping they would run when they noticed what was happening.  
"They did, and thankfully in time to escape anything but a few cuts as my claws dug into their arms. I bet, if you asked Sirius to, he could still show you the scars. I knew they wouldn't react well to the news. I mean, who could possibly want to be friends with a werewolf? But they weren't upset about that, I suppose they were too young to realise the danger. They were mad because I hadn't told them.  
"That was the worst month of my life. Not even Peter would talk to me, though I don't think he even knew why. I was alone. Except for Lily, that is. That was the silver lining to the disaster. Lily took pity on me and would sit with me for hours in the Common Room, doing homework, playing chess, talking..."  
  
  
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"Checkmate!" Lily's cry of victory rang out across the room. "Come on, Remus, you never lose at chess. What's wrong?"  
"Nothing," Remus said coldly as he shot a glance at the corner, where his old friends were sitting. "I'm fine. Let's play again."  
"Not until you tell me what's bothering you," said Lily, crossing her arms over her chest and looking defiantly at him.Remus sighed. The girl was too stubborn for her own good.   
"I told you- It's nothing!" Lily raised one eyebrow. "Okay, fine, I don't like Sirius and James being mad at me. Do you know how hard it is to watch them designing their little pranks without me?"  
Lily nodded slowly, a strange look crossing her face as she gazed at the boys in the corner. "Yeah." She paused. "Tell you what: I'll talk to them."  
"But you don't even know why-"  
"I'll talk to them." She stood and walked over to the corner where the three boys were huddled together. Remus watched, too scared to follow her. He caught a few pieces of the conversation and smiled.  
"I don't care why you're mad at him, he's miserable!... I'm sure he's sorry for whatever it is... Just talk to him!" And with that final exclamation, she stormed off, winking at Remus as she passed by. "Get ready to beg."  
Remus looked over to where Sirius, James, and Peter were sitting, and heard Sirius say something like "Told off by a girl!" James's face turned a vibrant shade of pink as he stood up and walked over.  
"Hey, Remus. What're you up to?"  
"Nothing. What about you?"  
"Nothing." They were engulfed by a wall of tense silence for a minute.  
"Want to play chess?" James nodded and sat down.  
  
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"'Want to play chess?'" The man smiled."That's all it took. I beat him, as usual, then we went back over to where the others were still sitting and started talking about Quidditch. It was as if nothing had ever happened.  
"There was only one problem. Now that Sirius and James knew I was a werewolf, they insisted on joining me on my monthly visits to the house in Hogsmeade, which the villagers had now dubbed the Shrieking Shack.  
"Of course, they weren't allowed to. I hadn't told any of the teachers that they knew my secret. But there was no way I was going to expose my friends to the monster that I became. So they worked out a plan.  
"Werewolf bites are, though painful to anything, effactive on the human species only as far as passing the curse along goes. Dogs, cats, alligators, and any other animal can't possibly become a werewolf themselves, therefore, it is relatively safe to have them around when one transforms. So they decided to become animals, Animagus to be precise.   
"By then, Peter had discovered the secret. We all worked day and night for nearly two years, making that potion. We smuggled ingrediants from the Potions teacher's private store, used an empty classroom with a large cauldron.  
"The last week of February in our fifth year, James passed a note to me in Charms..."  
  
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Remus sat down at his usual spot and waited for James to come. He had gone off to check the Animagus potion and Remus was anxious to know how it was coming along.   
The bell rang just as James came running in, rushing to his seat beside Sirius. He pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill, and the first bottle of ink he could find, and scribbled a note down hurriedly. Peter, who was sitting on James's left side, leaned over and read it over his shoulder, barely suppressing an excited squeal. James passed it to Sirius, who scanned over it, then passed it to Remus.  
It said, in a very untidy scrawl: Classroom, tonight. It's ready!  
  
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"It was ready. They all drank the potion, waiting, and hoping the transformation would be successful. It was, and the next full moon, they accompanied me to the house, under the invisibility cloak.  
"For the next few months, they just went to the house with me, perfectly content to just be there. Then, one day in early May, Sirius got an idea. It wasn't good enough to just stay in the house anymore..."  
  
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Sirius looked up from his Transfiguration book, a gleam in his eyes. "You know," he said,"We don't have to stay in the Shrieking Shack when Moony transforms."  
"What do you mean?" asked Remus,"Of course we have to stay in the Shack. Don't you know what I would do to anybody if I changed near a human?"  
"I do!" said Sirius,"It's just, nobody's walking around the grounds at night, and that's when you transform."  
"But I promised Dumbledore-"  
"Dumbledore won't have to know," soothed James,"Let's do it!"  
  
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"Now, you see, it's not quite as easy to drag a werewolf around against his will as it seems. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was much more... human when they were around, I imagine I would have broken free and ran off into the woods, never to be seen again.  
"The first night, we patrolled the grounds, a small parade, with Sirius, James, and Peter grouped around me. We all enjoyed it so much, in fact, that we continued to roam every time I transformed. Soon, any trace of my promise to Professor Dumbledore had been wiped from my mind. Or, at least, overshadowed by the joy I felt when I was with my friends.  
"Everything was going according to plan. No one had spotted us roaming about, though one third year got quite a shock when he saw Sirius walking around in dog form one day in our sixth year. Poor kid had just come from his first Divination lesson. Sirius got quite a kick out of that one..."  
  
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"Did you see the look on his face?!" Sirius howeled with laughter as Remus looked on disapprovingly.   
"For the last time, Sirius, we saw everything. I told you not to change in broad daylight. What if he had seen you change and found out you were an Animagus? Dumbledore would want to know how a sixteen-year old student could manage an Animagus transformation. And why..." James trailed off and shot a meaningful glance Remus's way.  
"Oh, would you please stop doing that?!" Remus exclaimed. He sat down in a chair, pulling Sirius down onto the couch next to it so he wouldn't have to look up at him. "I don't care about whether or not Dumbledore knows that you know about my illness. What I'm worried about is that he might find out about all the rules we've broken in the past year. Your abilities aren't the only thing he'll find out about. "  
"He- he wouldn't be able to find out about, you know, the trips we take every month, would he?" squeaked Peter,"I don't want to be expelled!"  
"Will you shut up?!" Sirius said. A few of the other Gryffindors in the Common Room had turned to see who had been yelling."I didn't get caught, okay?" he hissed in a much quieter voice,"I won't do it again. Ever. Now can you just forget about it?"  
"Fine," said James. Peter nodded. They all looked to Remus, who was sitting perfectly still, frowning. He was looking over their shoulders, in a shadowed corner a few feet away.  
A wave of terror washed over them as Lily Evans stepped out into the open. "I heard everything," she said in a whisper.  
  
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"Lily was the first to find out our secret. We were overcome with shock as she explained how she had been sitting in the corner- I still don't know why, though by the streaks on her face, I imagine she had been crying- and hadn't even noticed we were there until we had blocked her in.  
"She had listened to the entire conversation, too afraid to com out when she had realized what the things we said meant. She had hoped we would be too caught up in our arguement to notice her and would leave without ever knowing she had heard.  
"I don't believe she had figured out that I was a werewolf, though by some streak of stupidity, James blurted it out to her while we were explaining about becoming Animagus. She was less suprised than I would have thought. I imagine she had noticed my absences every month and how I always seemed to be sick after that.  
"She kept quiet, and I had believed my secret was once again safe. But later on that year, Sirius had a nice little run-in with Severus Snape..."  
  
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"Washed your hair lately, Slimeball?" Sirius called across the hall. Snape turned and glared at him.  
"I might ask the same of you. Or your little friend, Lupin. His robes could use washing, or replacing, whichever you prefer." Sirius scowled, pushing past Snape into the Potions classroom.   
He pulled Peter by the arm on his way in and said, loud enough for Snape to hear,"All you have to do is prod the knot on the Whomping Willow with a stick and it'll freeze and open a secret passageway. If anyone found out about it, I could be expelled." What Snape didn't hear, was Peter's reply of "I know that, Sirius."  
  
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"It was one of the scariest days of my life, and believe me, I've had few scares. Snape took the bait and went straight to the Whomping Willow that night. Of course, Sirius had been braging about it to James, who had run off just in time to pull Snape back down the passageway unharmed.   
"Needless to say, Snape was rather shaken up. He went straight to Dumbledore and told him about me. The Headmaster told him he already knew and made him promise to never tell a soul.   
"Things went back to about as normal as they could be after that. Snape kept his promise and didn't tell anyone. James had become quite fond of Lily and I often found myself listening to Sirius rambling on about how great he was, with nobody but Peter to share the pain with.  
"We finished the Marauder's Map at the end of that year, and not two weeks after it's completion, Sirius and James decided to have a bit of fun with Filch. Fillibuster Fireworks in Mrs. Norris's water dish, I believe..."  
  
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"Shhh-"  
"Be quiet!"  
"Shut up!"  
"Hush! I hear someone." Sirius and James pressed up against the wall beside Filch's office, listening for footsteps. James looked at the map and saw a dot labelled Argus Filch coming their way down the corridor.  
"Mischief managed," James whispered, touching the map with his wand.  
Filch rounded the corner slowly, shuffling his feet as he went. Sirius seemed about to say something and James reached over, and clamped his hane over Sirius's mouth. Too late, they noticed the Marauder's Map had fallen from his hand to the floor.  
"What is this?" Filch said, picking up the map. A look of disappointment crossed his features as he said,"A bit of parchment. Strange, for it to be laying here in a corridor which was empty two minutes ago," and pocketed it. He walked into his office and James and Sirius both let out relieved sighs.  
  
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"We weren't too happy that it had been taken, but I think it was for the best. No one knew about the map except us, that is, until you two picked it up." He grinned at the two red-heads sitting before him.  
"We graduated the next year, all getting high marks on our N.E.W.T.s. With the exception of Peter, of course. It was all rather exciting. Our adventures were quite strange, weren't they?"  
"Yes, they were," said George,"But what was it like hanging Snape's underwear in the Great Hall at graduation.?"  
Remus smiled and said,"Oh, that was very fun. One of our best pranks, I might say."  
  
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"Oh, Snaaapey..."  
Severus Snape turned to look at the four boys standing in front of him. "What is it?" he said acidly.  
The one in the middle, Remus Lupin, pointed to the place above the teacher's table, where the Hogwarts crest usually hung. There, on a long pole, in front of the entire graduating class, hung a pair of bright green underwear. Snape's jaw dropped.  
"Happy graduation."  
  
  
  
A/N Okay there's my Remus story. Sorry ifit's misspelled, but I typed it really late and really fast. R/R. Thanx for readin' it! 


End file.
